If My Mind Is Talking, I Am Not Listening
The other morning, I was driving to work with Virgin Radio on in the background when I heard Chris Evans say something that made me pause and really think.
He said, “If my mind is talking, I ain’t listening because the only thing that listens to the mind is the mind. If your mind is chatting, I ain’t listening. So first, get the conversation out of your head. Speak it. Record it. Write it. Get that mind conversation out of your head so you have your mind back.”
I actually pulled over for a moment because those words spoke right to what I hear so often from clients. The endless thoughts, the constant analysing, and that running commentary that seems to never stop.
We all know that inner chatter. Sometimes it is useful, like when it reminds us to take the bins out or not forget a birthday. But quite often, it becomes noise. Noise that tells us we are not doing enough, that we have made mistakes, or that something bad will happen.
When your mind is full of this constant talk, it can feel like you are living inside a radio that never turns off.
So today I want to unpack what Chris Evans said because it is simple but powerful. You cannot calm your mind by staying inside the conversation. You have to get it out.
The Mind and Its Endless Commentary
Imagine sitting in a café trying to enjoy your drink while someone at the next table comments on everything you do.
“Why are you sitting here? You should have gone somewhere else.”
“Did you sound silly in that meeting?”
“You will never get through everything today.”
If that voice came from another person, you would move tables or leave. But when the voice comes from our own mind, we sit and listen to it for hours.
The mind is clever. It convinces us that its words are truth when they are often just opinions, memories, or fears pretending to be logic.
When we keep everything in our heads, we get trapped in a loop. You think, your mind answers back, you respond again, and before you know it, hours have passed, and nothing feels clearer.
That is what Chris Evans meant when he said the only thing that listens to the mind is the mind.
Getting the Conversation Out
You break the loop by getting the conversation out of your head. It sounds simple, but it changes everything.
Here are three ways to start:
Speak it
Say your thoughts out loud. When you do, you step back from them slightly and begin to hear how unkind or exaggerated they can sound. Some people do this while walking or driving. You do not need to analyse what you say, just give your mind space to breathe.
Record it
If talking feels easier than writing, record yourself. Use the voice recorder on your phone and talk for a few minutes about what is on your mind. Then, if you wish, listen back once and notice what stands out. You might find that the same worry or phrase repeats again and again.
Write it
Writing slows the mind down long enough for clarity to appear. Grab a notebook and let your thoughts flow freely. Do not worry about sentences or grammar. Once your words are on paper, they lose their weight. You can see them rather than be inside them.
Whether you speak, record, or write, the aim is the same. You are moving your thoughts from the inside world to the outside world. That distance gives you room to think more clearly.
Why It Works
When you keep thoughts locked in your mind, they grow stronger. They bounce around and start to feel more real. But when you express them, your body starts to relax. You give your nervous system permission to let go.
This is part of what counselling does. It gives you a safe, grounded space to talk about what has been circling in your head for too long. When you share those thoughts, you begin to see them differently. You can start to understand what is behind them and what they are trying to protect you from.
That is why Chris Evans’ words hit me so deeply. They described what happens in therapy every day. People bring the noise of their mind into the room, and slowly it becomes quieter, kinder, and clearer.
A Simple Exercise
If your mind has been busy lately, try this short practice sometime this week.
The Mind Offload
- Find a quiet ten minutes with a notebook or your phone.
- Ask yourself, “What is my mind saying today?”
- Let it all out. Do not judge or correct it.
- When you have finished, take a breath and notice how you feel.
You may not feel calm straight away, but you will usually feel lighter. You will have created a little space between you and your thoughts, and that space is where change begins.
Taking Back Your Mind
You do not need to fight your mind. You just need to stop having the same conversation inside it.
When you begin to speak your thoughts instead of arguing with them silently, you reclaim control. You remind yourself that you can listen to your mind without letting it run your life.
That is how you start to get your mind back.
If your thoughts have been loud lately and you are ready to find some calm, I would love to help.
You can email me at hello@oceanwavescounselling.com or visit oceanwavescounselling.com to find out more or book a session. Together, we can help you turn down the noise and rediscover some quiet in your own mind.